The Blåhaj enjoyers of Two Pickles is a colossal, safe nation, notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, soft-spoken computers, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.136 billion Pickles are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Celeste. The average income tax rate is 71.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Pickle economy, worth 454 trillion Pickles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 109,989 Pickles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Fifteen-year-olds cannot walk younger siblings to school without a professional Childcare and Education Certificate, signs at the border tell international drivers where they can put their cars, witnesses have to run a gauntlet of mob enforcers to testify at trials, and kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll. Crime is totally unknown. Two Pickles's national animal is the Blåhaj, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Ikea.

Two Pickles is ranked 232,841^st in the world and 3,270^th in the South Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 8.22 Obesity Rate.